April 16, 2025

Hello again friends. Today is a new day, so time for more of our story. I feel like this entry is just going to be a hodgepodge of things, and they won’t necessarily be in any type or order, so just bear with me here. Lol

This section will involve some medical details, so if you’re squeamish, you may want to skip this paragraph. Anyway, so due to the severity of my condition, it is required that I have two IVs in at all times. This is so if an emergency happens, and one of the IVs fails, the docs still have another one to work with. Now, needles really don’t bother me. I’ve had to do a lotttt of blood draws during this pregnancy, as well as for when I was pregnant with Ezra, and Poppy & Daniel. However, I am apparently a difficult one to IV. I remember when they were prepping me for Ezra’s birth, it took them 4 sticks to finally get one to work. That was really not fun. Now, this time around, it took them SIX sticks to get a good one, and that’s only for the first IV. They did get one in successfully when I was still in Lansing, but sometime after I arrived in GR and they went to utilize it, it became painful so it had to be taken out and a new one needed to be placed. As I’ve mentioned previously, all of the staff here has been absolutely wonderful, super kind, and super accommodating. Since I’m such a hard stick, they brought in their best IV nurse, who worked all kinds of magic to make sure she got it the first time. She even gave me lidocaine so I didn’t feel the huge needle. I was pretty thankful for this, as they have to use a rather large gauge, so it’s even more painful to put in than usual. Due to how difficult of a stick I am, I was not thrilled when they told me I needed a second IV. But, they have a team here called vascular specialists, or something like that, where they can use an ultrasound machine to find your veins and are pros at what they do, so they brought one of those in for me. I am so grateful! She did such a great job, and I hardly experienced any pain at all. She got it on her first try, thankfully, and was gracious enough to use a smaller gauge so it didn’t hurt as much going in. She said since they already had one “big honkin’ needle”, this one should be sufficient. Both of those have been placed for a few days now, so I’m hoping they’ll last and they won’t have to be redone!

Alright that’s a lot about IVs; I get it. Lol. Next topic. Still medical related, but no needles this time, so you should be okay to keep reading, even if you get squeamish easily. So, as I mentioned yesterday, I have placenta previa and accreta. Due to how far the placenta has embedded itself into my uterus, I have to have a partial hysterectomy at the time of birth. Thankfully, I get to keep my ovaries, as long as everything goes as planned, so I don’t have to worry about hormone replacement therapy in the future. This does mean though, they will be removing my uterus, tubes, and cervix. Honestly, this is all pretty scary to me. There is a high risk of bleeding, so they have blood on hold for me at all times, just in case it’s needed. Obviously we are hoping and praying for the best, but I’m glad my team of doctors and surgeons is well prepared! I would also like to take the time to say how incredibly thankful I am to be living in a time period where modern medicine exists, and my condition is known about beforehand. If we lived in a time where ultrasounds were not a thing, or if I just didn’t seek medical attention, there is no doubt I would die during childbirth, and possibly our baby as well. While this whole experience has been overwhelming, and honestly quite frightening, I am thankful we know about it beforehand and can be prepared for it. I am not exaggerating when I say there will be a team of probably 20-30 medical staff in the OR at the time of baby’s delivery and my surgery.

So that paragraph doesn’t get too incredibly long, let’s move on to the next one, regarding the surgery itself. While some accreta patients are able to be awake for the delivery of their baby and/or have their support person in the room (where it happens), (sorry, I had to, lol), that unfortunately is not the case for us. This is an extremely difficult pill for both me and Chris to swallow. I absolutely hate that neither of us will be there, (I mean I will, but I won’t be conscious), when baby is born and takes their first breath. I’m actually tearing up as I write this because it’s hard for me to think about. And I know I wouldn’t be aware of it anyway, but I’m so sad Chris can’t be there with me. Just his presence calms me and makes me feel safe. But, I will have to be put under general anesthesia for the entire procedure, and I will need to be intubated, which is why Chris is unable to be there. The plan is to deliver the baby first, and then baby will immediately be taken up to the NICU, where Chris will get to be with them while I am in surgery and recovery. I am at least thankful baby will get to meet their dad shortly after birth and Chris will get to spend some one on one time with them. The entire surgery is expected to take 3-5 hours, but my MFM team told me to expect it to be on the longer end. That part is hard for me too because I will also be in recovery for about an hour after surgery, and then I have to be well and stable enough for me to go make it up to the NICU floor, so I’m expecting not to be able to go meet baby until they’re 8+ hours old, and that is hard for me. And of course there’s always the possibility that due to complications, it could be even longer. It’s so incredibly hard knowing I’ve had this baby with me 27/4 for all these months, and now I’m going to have to spend the majority of my time away from them. I hate that. I didn’t even like leaving Ezra in another room to nap when he was born. Good news is, the NICU has cameras in there, so we can see baby 24/7, but of course that’s not the same as being in the same room with them. Other plus side is, once I am discharged, there is housing connected directly to the hospital. I believe it’s called the Renucci House, where Chris and I, and any/all of our kids can stay, so that’s really nice. It is possible that place will be full, but there’s a Ronald McDonald House two miles down the road we are able to stay at, if that’s the case. If Emmett and Grace weren’t in school, we’d probably just keep all of us up here full time after baby is born to avoid going back and forth, but of course that’s not right to make them miss that much school, so they’ll either be at our house with Chris’s parents, or at Eric and Leah’s during their weeks.

Okay I told you there would be flip flopping back and forth, so here ya go. Lol. Going back to the surgery for a little bit. So, one other thing I’m really not looking forward to regarding the surgery is the incision. With all my previous 3 c sections, I was able to get the horizontal incision, below my belly. Those scars never really bothered me because A. They honestly healed really well and are hardly noticeable. And B. I can’t see them anyway, so they’re out of sight out of mind. Lol. This next one will be quite a bit different. Unfortunately, this will need to be a vertical incision that goes all the way from my pelvic bone to my belly button or above. And I am STRUGGLING with that. I’ve always had some pretty severe body image issues, and I know that’s only going to make it worse. Don’t get me wrong, I know I should be proud of my body and all it’s about to go through, but I know I’m going to have a hard time looking at that scar all the time, and it will always be visible to me. Logistically I know it doesn’t make me ugly, but it’s still going to be very hard for me to accept. Due to this large incision, and the fact I’ll be recovering from two major surgeries at once, I am anticipating this recovery to be pretty rough. I already had a tough time after Ezra was born, so I’m expecting this to be worse. Overall just not looking forward to the whole recovery process AT ALL. I know Chris will absolutely take the best care of me and do all he can do, but of course we also have 3 other kids we’ll be taking care of, along with our new preemie, so that will be an entirely different challenge. It also sucks because he’s only going to be able to get four weeks off of work once baby is born. While he’s approved for up to 8 weeks for care of me, he would have to exhaust all his PTO at work, and that’s just not feasible for him to have zero PTO from June-Dec because obviously something is going to happen and/or someone is gonna get sick during that time and he’ll need time off. Thankfully though, his parents and brother are absolutely amazing and wonderful people and are willing and able to help any and every way they can, despite his parents living over two hours away from us.

I know there’s a lot to unpack in today’s entry, and some of it is kind of deep and heavy. I tried not to make it too much gloom and doom, because Chris and I are immensely blessed in so many ways as well. I have an absolutely wonderful and amazing manager, Nate, who truly cares about his employees as people, not just as his employees, and always goes above and beyond to help in any capacity he can. As mentioned previously, I have truly the best in laws I could ever ask for. I’m incredibly thankful for them. We are also blessed with A LOT of friends, willing to step up to the plate and help us on the drop of a dime. Hopefully y’all don’t mind a shoutout because you’re getting one. Lol. These are in NO PARTICULAR ORDER, so no one get your panties in a bunch. Lol. But one of the first people that comes to mind is my work bestie, Jessyca. She texts me every single day and asks how I’m doing, and has also offered to pick Ezra up from daycare for us, if need be. Jessyca is an absolutely amazing human and I love her so much. I also have to give a shoutout to who I like to collectively call me and Chris’s bestie, Erika. Erika is literally one of my favorite humans on the entire planet. She has such a giving heart, and will do literally anything to help the people she cares about. Ezra lovingly calls her Titi, as she is like an aunt to him. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve texted her at ridiculous hours, upset about something, and she always listens to me. I could seriously write about her forever, but I’ll spare her the attention because I know she hates it. (lol, sorry Erika; we love you!) Next is someone I established a relationship with before ever meeting in person, and that’s my friend Melissa. She also has the biggest heart and always goes out of her way to help in any capacity she can. Melissa is also a bomb estate planning attorney, if anyone needs one. ;) Probably next on the list would have to be Erin and Nicole, who I have a group chat with and we talk almost daily too. They’re always there to listen to me when I need to vent, or just spill some tea to. Lol. Erin has also saved my butt so many times when I needed a last min babysitter for Ezra, and she also delivered food to us when we were all super sick with the flu this past Jan. Erin also has the biggest heart and will go to the ends of the earth for those she cares about. Nicole is freaking amazing as well. She’s basically supplied all of Grace’s clothes once her girls grow out of their clothes. The next friend I wanna give a shoutout to is my friend Gretchen. We’ve never actually had the pleasure of meeting in person, but we met online in a miscarriage group when I was losing Daniel, and we’ve become very close since. We can talk about anything and everything. Her daughter and Ezra are also less than one month apart, so that’s really fun! We got to experience pregnancy together, and now our babies are growing up at the same time.

Okay I was gonna try to end here, but I thought of more to say so here ya go. Lol. When I got moved up to the “let’s keep you pregnant floor”, I was obviously placed into a room. I didn’t think much of it and assumed all rooms were the same. But last night, I got a new nurse and she’s like “it’s pretty cramped in here. You’re gonna be here for a while, right?” So I told her yes, the plan is to try and keep this baby in until 34 weeks, which is about 4 more weeks. She then said she was going to talk to her charge nurse about moving me to a bigger room. Lo and behold, she came back 30 mins later and delivered! She showed me the new room and got me moved over. The new room is definitely not as squished. The bathroom is smaller, but the shower is bigger, so that’s pretty nice. The nurse said it’s also better for them, because in the event of an emergency and they have to move quickly, it’s obviously better for them to have more room to work with. Not really something you want to think about, but I’m glad it's on their minds at least.  The new bed I have is not nearly as comfy as the other one, but I might be extra and see if I can get my old bed back. Lol. I like a nice, soft mattress, and this one was so firm it actually hurt sleeping on last night. So we’ll see what they say.

Today I decided to try the hospital coffee for the first time, and while I didn’t expect it to be good, this was like water with a hint of coffee flavor. Lol. But there’s a Starbucks downstairs, so I decided to come treat myself and get some real coffee today. (I know some of y’all think Starbucks sucks, but it’s still better than this hospital stuff. lol) Also, unrelated, the MFM team of docs comes in every day to check on me, let me know of any updates, and see if there’s anything I need. Yesterday, a team of 5 of them came in to talk to me. While slightly intimidating, it’s also nice to know I have so many people extremely familiar with my case and keeping a close eye on me. The first time they came in to meet me, they told me how excited they were to meet me because they knew all about me. Of course no one wanted us to have to meet this way, but beats an emergency delivery! Also random, I’ve gotten so many compliments on my Squishmallow kitty tattoo. Lol. Funny thing is, when I got it, I didn’t even know it was a Squishmallow. Lol. But I still love it! (Got it at a flash tattoo event with my friend/coworker, Kylee. That was the first time we ever met in person, and we decided to get tattoos together. Because, why not? Lol. No ragerts.)

Alright so I know this is a really long entry. If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m a very long winded writer. Lol. Also, y’all are really getting the raw version of things. I’m only editing as I go. I’m not going back and re-reading and making any corrections. So I’m aware some of this may be a jumbled mess or not make sense. I think that’s all I’ve got for now friends. If I get bored enough, I’ll write another entry today. If not, I probably will tomorrow. Lol. The person that works in the library down here recognizes me and knows me by name, so that’s pretty nice. I’m turning out to be a VIP around here. Lol. Okay for real, logging off for now. Thanks for reading all of my messy shenanigans. Lol. Love y’all, and “talk” to you soon. :)