Day 32

Hello friends! Today marks day 32 of my stay here at the hospital, with less than 36 hours until my surgery & baby’s delivery. I really thought I would get more nervous and more anxious as the day approaches, but I’m actually feeling mostly at peace about everything. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still nervous and I think the day of I will be big a ball of nerves that morning, but I know God’s got this, so I’m trying not to stress too much. I know there’s a lot of you out there that have been praying for us, and your prayers have definitely been heard and are working, so we really appreciate that! Today is the last “normal” day for me, as Chris will be coming up here after he gets off work tomorrow. He likely won’t be here until late in the evening, so I’ll still have the majority of the day to go about my daily routine, but of course it will be nice to have him here with me. The doctors told me they will be coming to get me bright and early Friday morning, so I’m hoping to get a decent amount of sleep and try and eat right up until the last min. Lol. Cuz I know the surgery will take a while and I won’t be able to eat for some time after, so I want to try and do that while I still can. My main goal and biggest hope, other than still being here to tell our story, is for me to be able to physically go see my baby sometime on Friday. Since the NICU has cameras, I can look at that any time to see baby, but of course that’s not the same as getting to meet and hold them in person. We are hopeful with baby being born closer to 35 weeks rather than 34 that they won’t need too long of a NICU stay. It would definitely be ideal for us to go home sooner rather than later. Things are a bit complicated since we live so far from the hospital, and thinks are tricky with work for Chris, so the sooner we get home, (safely), the better! Plus I know Emmett and Grace miss me being at home, and I’m sure Ezra does too. Idk about the cats though. 🤣 I do want to give y’all the heads up that I don’t know if I’ll be writing tomorrow. It’s possible I wake up and feel super overwhelmed, or I just want the day for myself. So if that is the case, this will be my last entry until I feel healed/ready enough to write after our baby is here. I do want to warn you all that we may not post any pictures of the baby, or if we do, it may just be a couple. But I made a conscious decision last year to rarely, if at all, post my children on social media anymore. The world is just too scary of a place and people can take pictures of your kids and do terrible things, so anyone I feel should have updates on my kids, get sent to them personally.

I know I’ve mentioned her a few times on my blog thus far, but I want to give another shoutout to my fav nurse during my stay, Katie. Ever since the first time I had her, Katie has felt like more of a friend than a nurse. (Don’t get me wrong, she’s excellent at her nursing duties too), but there’s just something about her that makes me feel comfortable and at ease. Yesterday she was working, but she wasn’t assigned to me, however, I saw her at the nurse’s station one time in passing so I of course stopped to say hi, and later asked if she could come to my room so we could speak. Y’all, she came and spent like 20 mins with me, just talking about life, and making sure I was doing okay. I’m sure it was obvious a few times throughout our conversation that I was on the verge of tears, and she always remained positive and upbeat, and held a smile on her face. She even gave me a hug, which was much needed and appreciated.  I am truly thankful for her, as she’s made a great impact during my time here. (If by any chance her boss reads this, give this woman a fat raise! She deserves it and so much more!) I think all this goes to say that you never know the impact you will make in someone’s life, especially when they’re going through a difficult time. All the little things may stick out to them, or add up. It may not always be easy, but do your best to choose kindness, to love others, and treat people the way you would want to be treated, or even better. So again, thank you Katie, and I can’t wait to bring our little baby for you to meet after they’re born! I will absolutely be submitting a nomination for a Daisy Award for you!

As I sit here during this time of thanks, I’d like to once again thank everyone who has helped me, Chris, and/or the kids while I’ve been here. So many of you have either offered to bring us food, bought gift cards, as well as assistance with childcare. I especially want to thank those of you that made the trek out here to come see me and bring me food! It’s nice being able to break up the day a bit and see some familiar faces, as well as take a break from the hospital food. I am also thankful to have made friends with my neighbor, Rachel, and it’s also definitely helped to have someone who can relate to how I’m feeling, and has been willing to go on adventures downstairs with me and just chat and get out of our rooms for a bit. Even the nurses and MFM doctors have commented on our friendship, saying how usually if one of us is out of our room, the other one is too. Lol. Mega shout out to Dr. Columbo, who had the idea to introduce us. There’s also another doctor that’s been on rotation this week, Dr. Lowe, who has been especially kind while I’ve been here, asking how I’m TRULY doing, mentally, vs just the standard “how are you?” and then moving on. He commented on how he liked how I made the room my own and made it feel more like “home”. (I’ve got lots of pictures hanging up that the kids have drawn/colored for me.) While this whole situation has been a bit sucky, all of the wonderful staff here has made it a little less sucky. I can definitely understand why Butterworth & Helen Devos are considered a “Center of Excellence.” I am grateful for everyone who has helped care for me, and shown the utmost compassion while they’ve done it. 

I know I got a bit mushy with this entry, (sorry not sorry), so I think I’ll bring it to a close. In case this is my last entry for a bit, I want to say thank you again for those of you that have kept up and continued to support my writing. It’s nice to know people are actually interested and are reading this. Y’all are an amazing support system and I am forever grateful! Goodbye for now friends, and as always, Jesus loves you!